5 • Happy Pride! 🌈

Wisdom and inspiration from Jane Fonda, a tireless activist from the 1970’s to today.

This week I saw Jane Fonda at the Castro Theater talk about her life as an activist, starting in the 1970’s and continuing stronger every still today, age 85. She is a legend. It started with a 1979 interview clip about why Jane was supporting gays & lesbians. Her answer, explaining the very real and harmful discrimination and oppression LGBT people faced, was profound, insightful, and subversive even by today’s standards. And this was 44 years ago.

The whole evening Jane knocked it out of the park with insights, and a couple of great quotes too:

“You can’t make your life longer, but you can make it deeper.”

On her 59th birthday she realized that she was going to turn 60 in a year and start her third act in life, except… she didn’t really know who she was. So, she requested all the FBI files on herself to figure out was was deeply rooted in herself, and learned that she really was meant to fight for important causes.

On the topic of finding your purpose late in life:

“It’s okay to be a late bloomer, just don’t be late for the flower show.”

Create the meaning you want in your life. Start today and every day.

I didn’t get to ask her my question: what advice do you have for engaging in social activism in ways that bring people together, that don’t cause people to feel shamed or judged and become immediately defensive, closed off to new ideas, and resentful?

Fortunately, my two friends from checks notes the line for getting into the theater had their thoughts on it: meet people where they are, find your common ground—for example, we all want happiness, safety, and security—and build bridges.

The meaning I want to create in this life is building bridges with Love.

I’m no longer interested in using shame as a weapon.
I’m no longer interested in “being right” in intellectual ways while simultaneously causing harm in emotional ones.
I’m no longer interested in seeing other people as enemies, even if they treat me as theirs.

This is part of the work of what it means to go Love First: to see people for having lived a valid life story, for being worthy of love and support and respect and kindness, for creating space so that people can be themselves and engage in meaningful dialogue without having their guard up at all times.

Being out about a part of your authentic that is, or historically has been, shamed or judged or oppressed or used as a justification for harm as severe as murder, is what Pride is all about. Existing as an LGBTQIA+ person causes no harm to anyone. It just upsets some people’s status quo.

Let’s upset the status quo with Love.

Happy Pride 🌈

Help me help you!

I’m writing this newsletter to help people navigate the challenges in life and tackle them head on, with love in your heart. Let me know in the comments what you’re struggling with and might want another perspective on, or share this post or newsletter with someone you wish to send love to. 💖