6 • Creation and Co-creation

The next chapter of a life-long art piece has begun.

For most of my life, I’ve found tattoos beautiful and (sometimes) cool… but I never had any interest in getting one myself. There wasn’t an idea or message I felt I wanted immortalized in a life-long commitment on my body.

Until Love First.

Creation

When I had my vision of Love First, I knew this was going to be the focus for the rest of my life, and so the idea of something permanent on my body, related to love, became meaningful. Appealing. Exciting, even.

The only question left was: what?

Love First as a philosophy is built on a set of principles: everyday practices that foster a universal kind of love wherever and whenever we use them. My first tattoo idea was a “skeleton key” concept that would wrap around my arm, and the principles of love would be the parts of that key. But, the list of principles kept growing, eventually past 21, so this wasn’t going to work lest I wanted the tattoo to cover my entire arm and continue into my back. (I considered it, but no.)

Four of the most foundational practices aligned beautifully with the classical elements of earth, fire, water, and air—a much more reasonable set for a tattoo design. It also meant I could do a watercolor tattoo, but how to incorporate those remained elusive.

That’s where my (then) partner came in. Mels. The River Song to my Doctor.

One of the countless little cute things Mels did was draw little hearts on me: a simple and sweet act of love that melted me every time. One year, when we were having lunch for my birthday, she did something more: she drew a heart and then, still just with her finger, filled it in.

The dots connected, and the last piece of the puzzle fell into place. That was it!

No ideas thus far had felt “just right” because Love First is, through the Earth element, all about the connections we share with each other. My tattoo demanded—as if having a mind of its own—to be about more than just Love First, or even just myself. My community here in the bay, my friends all over the world, we all have something in common: we value our connectedness to each other. Many of us are artists, but we don’t just create art, we co-create art; we live our lives in immersive art and experiences together. And I wanted my tattoo to exemplify that.

Mels’ tiny little act of love sparked the idea of making filling in the little hearts drawn on my body the central element of my tattoo. I envisioned a line flowing out from the word “Love”, wrapping around my arm and forming four heart shapes, clear on the inside, the four elements represented outside of them in watercolor. Then, at events or parties, I could let people draw inside the hearts so that I would be a living, breathing co-creation of art—just for that moment.

With my tattoo finally conceptualized, the only thing left was to find an artist.

Serendipity Reigns Supreme In My Life, as shortly thereafter I ran into my friend Aubrey who had just gotten a new tattoo. It was beautiful, vividly colorful, and it was exactly the style I was looking for. So, I asked her who the artist was, and she told me about Brittany Genius, a black lesbian tattoo artist right here in San Francisco. I love supporting my fellow queer people of color, so this couldn’t have been more perfect!

Four sessions and a lot of waiting later (Brittany is in high demand) my first Love First tattoo was completed:

And with the tattoo done, it was time for the next chapter:

Co-Creation

Drawing in the hearts is by invitation, but given that the first person to draw in them would occupy a rather important place in the timeline of my tattoo, I had to consider not just who I wanted to have in that role, but also who of the people I love would want to take on something that carries such weight. And Melody was not interested given that we recently parted ways.

Enter my friends Alexa and Brett, and the day of their wedding. They wrote the following about their union:

We are two people who deeply believe in loving ourselves and others as they are; in welcoming all there is to feel; in making full contact with reality to the greatest extent possible.

We both have had a long strange trip to here, and are thankful for the path, for all its joy and its pain, to get us to each other.

“Every rejection, every disappointment has led you here—to this moment. Don’t let anything distract you from it.”

To me it feels like our love could change the world.
I could not be happier to share it with our community.

What greater moment than a celebration of two immensely loving people forming a union, to start a new chapter all about the co-creation of art, beauty, and love, as part of our community?

Alexa and Brett were thrilled to become the first two people (beside myself) to connect their open hearts to mine through the medium of body art. And after they finished theirs, I invited my two dear friends Belle and Oaxana, my fellow squad members who were also at the wedding afterparty, to take the next two spots. And for all four of them, the element they chose is also the element that belongs to them.

Alexa wrote “Let Love Flow” in Water
Brett wrote “Let Love Soar” in Air
Belle wrote “Let Love Deepen” in Earth
Oaxana wrote “Love Fully” in Fire

In this journey of 5 years in the making, the chapter of creation has now concluded, and the chapter of co-creation has begun.

I can’t wait to see what’s next!